What happened to Sexual Integrity?

Lost in a flash flood of sexual corruption, casual sex and sexual news, and all of it bad, I long for a voice to stand up and say “Enough! If you only have sex with someone you love, someone you respect, someone who is your true friend – then you are living a life of sexual integrity!”
I realized, I am that voice. We all are.

“The Right time to do the Right thing is Right Now!”

1 in 4 teens has a STD. Governor Spitzer’s illegal arrangements with a prostitute – spawning commentary on making prostitution legal. Abstinence education failing. No one is talking openly about sexual integrity in a non-religious text.

What is Sexual Integrity?
Sexual Integrity is choosing to have sex with a partner you genuinely love and respect, and only when both partners are emotionally and spiritually present.
It is a demand for true sexual equality and respect.
It is a deeply internal knowledge of the power of sexual energy and the Choice to only share that power with a partner that will multiply that power with their own.

What is Not Sexual Integrity?
Friends with Benefits
Hooking up
Cheating on a partner
Hiding or denying sexual identity (Yes, I have had sex with men – but I’m not gay and No, my wife doesn’t know)
Hiding or denying STD’s or the Risk for STD’s
Giving in because its easier than saying no
Having sex with a partner / spouse when its clear that one or both of you is not “in the moment”
Staying with a chronic cheater (its not a “private” matter. Each one of us is an example to someone. Mothers are the ultimate example. When a mother chooses to stay with, support and protect the cheater – what example is that for her daughters and the daughters in her community? What example is it for her sons and the young men in her community? And what do we want for our daughters and sons? We want them to live lives of integrity, in all areas. If we leave out and ignore sexual integrity, then we are not truly raising a generation that believes in integrity at all.

What is the Answer?

Answer 1:
The Sexual Integrity Filter!
Tell a new partner, when offered sex
“I do not have sex with anyone I do not love.”

The players will freeze and flee. The Abusers will try to convince you that you are wrong and stupid. Run Away!
Men of Integrity will agree and ask you for that second (or third or 100th) date!

Answer 2:
Talk openly about sexual integrity with your daughters and sons, your girlfriends and your spouse. Fight gossip with a strong reminder that sexual integrity may not save the world, but it may save a life. One woman at a time, we can make a difference.

Answer 3:
Set the example. Live the life you believe in and share your success as a person of integrity with those who are lost in a sea of personal disrespect. It is never too late to change.

As a mother, as a single woman rapidly approaching 40, I am not on a crusade to bring back morals to all relationships. I am on a quest to inform and influence women to take strength in their own sexual power and not to share it lightly!